Being an Effective Counselor

Read Job 18:1-21

Bildad is a fiery character. Under different circumstances he would make a fine revival preacher, but under these circumstances he makes a lousy counselor. He is just angry with Job now, “Why are we regarded as cattle and considered stupid in your sight?” Perhaps he is feeling a bit sorry for himself because of Job’s rhetoric? His speech delves deep into the realms of the ungodly. Who knows what the final destiny of the ungodly will be? Of course we all expect some sort of ‘hell’ that contains fire that cannot be quenched, brimstone, darkness, worms that do not die, and complete, total, and eternal separation from God. The exposition of the fate of the ungodly by Bildad is not lacking in such imagery.

His main point is that the ungodly have no chance whatsoever to survive. “The lamp of the wicked is snuffed out, the flame of his fire stops burning.” The ungodly person will have trouble walking, “The vigor of his steps is weakened; his own schemes throw him down.” Terror, calamity and disaster are always biting at his heals or waiting around the corner to scare the wits out of him. The ungodly person fades away: “The memory of him perishes from the earth; he has no name in the land.” There is more before he concludes that this is the sort of life that awaits the ‘one who knows not God.’ Harsh judgement; harsh imagery.

And no one can say it is wrong. For it is true. But again, since it is coming from Bildad and not Job there is a slight problem: None of it applies to Job. Bildad fails psychology 101 or counseling 101 because he was not helping Job.

Here are some things to remember when someone you know asks you to be their counselor. First, make certain that your words apply to the situation. There is nothing worse than talking with someone who has all the facts about the wrong situation. Do not make assumptions based on appearance. Speak carefully and cautiously and prayerfully.

Second, make certain that your words are helping the person. The things that Bildad said are beautiful poetry and exquisite theology. But none of it applied to Job, nor did any of it help Job. Job did not even disagree with Bildad. Since this is true, some of us ought not to be counselors. Some of us will invariable say the wrong thing that is unhelpful. If we are to be a counselor we ought make certain we are helping, not hindering.

Third, do not be afraid to engage the problem. I suspect that deep down inside of the three friends of Job there was a fear that participation with him might produce participation in his suffering. I do not see them engaging the real problem: Job’s suffering. They are so bound and determined to uncover the cause and prove their theology that they miss his pain altogether (we Christians are good at this too). The effective counselor will engage the real issue at hand, and not sidestep it. “We do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weakness, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin.” (Hebrews 4:15) His is the example we should follow.

Prayer Thoughts on Job 18:1-21

Pray today for wisdom. All of us have mouths or communicate in some way with hurting people. Pray that God will help you to be an effective counselor when the time for counseling arises in your life.